I'm listening over again and will comment as I listen.
First I'd like to say, thank you for trusting us and sharing your experience. I'm so sorry that your experience has you concerned and will send prayers and positivity your way. and I TOTALLY get where you're coming from and validate your worry. All parents are protective as lions when it comes to their cubs!
Please please don't take offense to anything I am saying. I tend to ramble and over explain myself a lot LOL i apologize in advance! I really am wondering if you thought of this theory.
You say she didn't give positive vibes and you felt watched or judged.
QUESTION: Could that just have been human insecurities making you feel that way?
REASONING: Because a lot of people will take a "normal" (if you can call paranormal incidents normal lol) maybe I should say non "threatening" situation
and get so inside their head about this brand new, never experienced situation and instantly think EVIL but in reality it's a spirit who needs help and is just trying to make itself known.
SUGGESTION: Maybe it wasn't a positive experience for you to have to go "through" as a child until now. But was it negative! Was she negative (not counting the dream)
YOUR DREAM: could have just been a dream? Only because you mention this was the only time you felt threatened. Dreams can be so weird.
THEORY: The reason I mention all this is have you ever heard of during some pregnancies while the fetus are still being formed, sometime it starts as two separate cells (twins) but then one of them gets absorbed by the other.
WHAT IF: she is your twin? (Doesn't have to be identical) I am guessing you have dark hair too?
It would make sense why she seems to be growing with you and how you said she seemed to pop in and check in on you. even before your marriage :)
I think you just pull more on your moms sensitive side too. As does your son. And you know that all children are much more open and receptive to seeing through the veil because they haven't been taught to fear new things, they are much more accepting.
If you get worried about your son seeing her too, or seeing anything really. Remember he is his dads son as you are your moms son.
Also try to remember when you were little, you looked straight at her and talked to her. You probably saw other people too! But it was only when you started getting older and more influenced and taught doubt, is when she started making you scared because by then you had been learning that you "shouldn't" be seeing stuff like that.
Oh and don't be afraid or clam up if your son says something again. Just act normal and talk to him about what he's seeing. If you are open with him, he will always know he can come to you. Our kids (and pets) will go by our energy too!
Hope I dont sound like a crazy person and that I explained myself ok.
I do send you all the best wishes to you and your new family!!